WARNING: Rant ahead.
Parents...at the same time the greatest people ever and the worst. I shouldn't, but sometimes I hate what I do because of them.
What sparked this one today was a discussion we had. I wish to stop the class I have on Saturdays, that lasts 10 hours and deals with building and stuff. They want me to continue, since it's paid and all.
Let's analyze each individually. The class is similar to architecture, except that it deals with raw building details and calculus. It's more of an engineering class, actually. And I think it's retarded to follow and area I absolutely hate just for money. Worse, the damn class lasts 10 hours (8am to 5pm). 10 hours of calculus? Gimme a break.
Unfortunately, my parents seem to dream of seeing me in that area. They already weren't very happy when I quit architecture, and certainly they aren't now. They also kept on raving on how I'm without decision and not wanting anything. So, now I'm studying Graphic Design on college, received a job offer and I'm making money with commissions, but I don't like anything? Yeah, right...
What pissed me off the most was when my mom mentioned that people my age already work and are leading decent lives. I FUCKING HATE when they compare me to other people. The root of 70% of my problems are in that fucking attitude. Remember a few days ago when i mentioned that I'm some kind of sick envious fuck? It's because of that. Since I was in elementary school, they always wanted me to be the best. Always going on as 'look at that boy, you must be better than him' and shit. Even nowadays it didn't change. I mentioned to them that, in my job, some people received some kinda congratulations for their good work. there's nearly 30 people in my group, 4 were commended, 1 got a promotion. Their comment? "You must work better, then".
What pisses me off even more is that, in a way, they're right. I'm 20, still living with parents, with a menial job, barely any friends, hardly going out. Tough they were quite surprised when i mentioned I was getting money with commissions, they don't seem to care anymore now. It's odd, but they never liked art and money together. My dream is enrolling in an Art College. To them, that's unthinkable and suicidal. If I disagree, they go on how their own lives were hard, how they didn't like what they studied and went well with it, etc. That kinda shit often leads me to suicide, because they have high expectations I'm unable to fulfill and I also feel like a heavy burden on their backs. Which is the exact feeling I have right now. I feel like I'm a piece of shit that won't ever get anywhere. My dream of living with a job I like seems unreachable. That's what makes me so easily depressed. All that.
It's also because I dream with exchange study. Going away from here, study what i like and actually try to live on my own for a bit seems great to me. Maybe too great...
*sighs* Anyway, I'll stop here. I think so much, I'm unable to write properly or with sense anymore.
Also...thanks for everyone who commissions me. It really helps me, both financially and emotionally, since I actually feel I'm going somewhere with my scribbles people call 'art'. And also to all of you who actually endure my emo days and actually make me feel way better. Many thanks.
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"Beyond Eternal" Comic:
[link]Ustream:
[link]Comissions:
[link]Trades
1-
-> Finished! (awaiting half)
2-
->
Fully Finished. Thank You!3-
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Fully Finished. Thank You!4-
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Fully Finished. Thank You! 5-
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Fully Finished. Thank You!6-
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Fully Finished. Thank You!7-
-> sketched
8-
-> (Half received)
9-
-> (Half received)
Comissions
1-
-Awaiting info.
2-
-Awaiting pay.
3-
-Awaiting pay.
4-
5-
Parents... 
Miserable
Devious Comments
Also, if you feel you are called into a career of art, graphic design, then do it with your best. But I would not recommend dropping out of your class. It's so easy to give up but it would be better for you to have on your resume of you completing a class rather than dropping it. But, if you are so unhappy with it and it is draining your life, dropping it might also help you to do something else that is better for your leaning. Art is not a bad area to go into, my art adviser tells me all the time that he gets parents who think that art is not an area for their students to get into because it wont get a job. Actually, without artists, there wouldn't be film, children books, advertising, or even designs that go on bedsheets and clothes, ect. Art is everywhere, even the people who made the dishes most people eat off are usually designed by an artist or potter of some sort along with the forks and other utensils. We don't recognize it but even if you go through your house...look for EVERY single item that is deigned. Its crazy to think that art is everywhere and we don't recognize it. Anywho...that was my little rant of suggestions. Hope they may help! Also, a hint: people aren't usually rational when in an argument. Simply tel your parents know your situation, how you feel and why, and listen to their side and wait a while. Give it a day to think things over and away from an argument atmosphere.
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"Gryningen har äntligen kommit
Dagen är slutligen här
Nattens mörker är över
Evigheten kommen är."
I'm 23, my husband is 27, and with a 2 year old son, we're trying our best not to go into the red (though our luck changed a few days ago, and things are finally looking up).
My dad told me I wasn't going to an art college. He said he would refuse to pay for it.
Guess what...
I went anyway. I went the college, got a federal loan, and not 3 months into my fall semester, my father started paying my loan off.
If your parents won't support you, you should break from them and start your own life. Do the best YOU can do. I faced the same shit you did with the "you are better than this" BS. Your parents raised you, and gave you a home, but it is your life in the end. It is YOUR path to take, not theirs.
If they love you, they will support you. If they don't, then you are better off trying to find your own place in the world. No one gets by free (unless you're living the good life like some rich slut in Hollywood.. i.e Hilton). You have to work for what you can do. And if that means flipping burgers until you graduate, or even start going to school, so be it.
Search online for scholarships you can either write essays for or sign up to "win." Check out Chase Student Loans and see if you can get some sort of great payment plan going. Fill out a FASFA (just google that and you'll get what I'm talkin about almost first hit).
You can do this. You just have to just get the will to do it.
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"Sure, insults is not the best way to promote how you feel, but when you're automatically labeled as a prude because you like nude and not multi-penis, grasping vagina, herm foxes screwing multi-breasted cat women, well, you start to get irritated."
And parents really shouldn't be comparing their kids with other people. EVERYBODY'S unique in their own way. No two people are the same. -_-
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Want a writing commission? I happen to do those! Click on this [link] for more info.
All I can say is that you give it some time with your parents. I'm sure that they will see some good in what you do when you start to become more serious in your job. I'm kind of going through something similar with job hunting, and I haven't had any luck so far.
Please know that you have those that are praying for you.
Take care, buddy.
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Fact is, at 20, there is no way in hell you'd already be doing things like they expect with their lives. Well, okay, there are... but you'd have to be some sort of prodigy. Most people aren't. I sort of understand the whole, "You're better than everyone else" thing. I was considered somewhat of a prodigy back in Elementary and Middle school. But let's just say the pressure from that broke me... and now I'm average. (If you're already suffering from burnout at 12 years old, you know there's a problem...) So, yeah, what ended up happening there was several years of psychiatric treatment, antidepressants, and many suicide attempts. (I got broken that badly, yes...) Sounds like you're at that point as well. All I can say is, be glad you reached that point at a time you could do something about it. (Meaning you could leave now if you wanted. Not the best advice, however... I'm still at home because I'm going to get a job, and pay the loans off and get at least a down payment for my own place before I leave.
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ladies and gentle men take my advise pull down your pants and slide on the ice
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Keep smiling!
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